THE SADNESS OF FEAR

On August 18th, I will note the second anniversary of my one and only encounter with a burglar. Last year I blogged about the first anniversary. It seems like so far away yet so close. I remember the fear I experienced for weeks afterward every time I would hear a noise or see a shadow. And I no longer left my windows open at night to let in the soft breeze and the warm night air.

My kids kept urging me to do something – anything. They bought me a little tube of mace – the only thing I agreed to accept – which I carried everywhere for awhile. But then that got to be too much bother, and I began leaving it at home. My youngest son is a hunter – bow and rifle – so his first suggestion was to purchase a gun. I politely disagreed as he knew I would.

Their other suggestions included bars on the windows or a security system. I guess I procrastinated about as long as I could. But about a month ago, I finally capitulated and had a security system installed.

Gone are the days of my youth in South Whitley when I left the keys in my car and my doors unlocked at night. Gone are the days of trust. Gone are the days of walking down a street without fear.

I had the system put in on a Monday night, but I could not bring myself to use it until Wednesday night. As I set the door sensors and the motion sensors for the first time, I felt a deep sadness. I looked around at the windows, in particular, the one where the burglar had entered. I felt like I had lost something valuable – something that could never be regained.

I knew that the fear I had never felt before in my life would always be with me now and knowing that I would never really be free from that fear generated a sadness that will never go away. So now I set my alarms every night, and I sleep more soundly than I have in a long time. But that deep sleep comes with a price, and that price is the loss of my youthful trust.

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About Charlotte A. Weybright

I own a home in the historical West Central Neighborhood of Fort Wayne, Indiana. I have four grown sons and nine grandchildren - four grandsons and five granddaughters. I love to work on my home, and I enjoy crafts of all types. But, most of all, I enjoy being involved in political and community issues.
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4 Responses to THE SADNESS OF FEAR

  1. Jeff says:

    Charlotte, you summed it up quite well with the title for this article. I, too, often long for the innocent times of my youth. I distinctly remember those days when my brothers and I could leave our bikes outside by garage at night, knowing that they would be right there in the morning. Neighbors looked out for each other, and most did not lock up their homes. It was certainly a simpler time, a safer time.

    I can understand your sadness that comes with your new-found deep sleep at night. Personal security systems are today’s reality, whether in our cars or our homes. If only the cost was not so high. Stay safe…

  2. Jeff:

    The security system costs $39.99 a month (I don’t know why they don’t just round it up). I got rid of Earthlink, which I was having trouble with anyway. It was $39.95 a month, and I now have Verizon DSL at $12.99 a month. I am out a little more, but not too bad.

    But I do feel a lot better. I can still see that man coming in the window. I am just so glad I fell asleep on the couch. I am naive enough that had I been upstairs and come downstairs, I would have confronted him. He had cut the screen with a knife, and I am sure I would not have been much of a challenge.

    Thanks for the thoughts.

  3. ice-ironman says:

    Seems a gun would do the trick. Thank goodness the supreme court got it right.

  4. Hi Ice-ironman:

    Yes, a gun would have done the trick. But the security system will also work nicely. I forgot to turn it off with my remote the other morning when I got up, and let me tell you the screech from the motion sensor as I triggered it would wake the dead.

    The Supreme Court decision isn’t any surprise to me. As I have said, I have never advocated taking away guns; I believe they should be regulated. The Supreme Court made it very clear that it was not taking away the right to regulate the ownership of guns.

    The result of the decision will be that we will see a rise in cases challenging the restrictions put in place by the states or the federal government.

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